I’m really trying my best to make more friends, but I guess, they just can’t accept me as their friend.

Isn’t it amazing how a song can make you remember a specific person, all the memories you have shared with him, no matter how sophomoric or serious it was. All the nonsense conversations and whispering phone calls you’ve had with him every 2 a.m, even the slightest details about him that no brain cell can store. It’s also amazing how a song can speak for you when you miss that person. And how it can make you happy and sad at the same time, for that person you always remember while listening to it is now a memory. Stupid songs.

I’m used to it. Being ignored. Being used by people. Being misunderstood. Being hurt. Being the one who should always beg for people to stay. Being forgotten. Being lied by people I care the most. Being left alone. I’m so used to it that I can even hide these pain behind a smile.

And just because I’m used to it, that doesn’t mean that I’m also used to the pain it brings. It fucking hurts, even more.

Stay with me when I least deserve your presence, that’s when I really need it.

She never looked nice. #eleanor

I love people
when they are
at their most
vulnerable.

I want to touch you
and see goosebumps
rising on your arm—
like tiny crops that
were planted
in your body—
and were waiting
for the sunlight
on my hand.

I want to lay
my troubled head
on your chest
and listen to
the unsure beat
of your heart.

I want to hear
the words
that have never
been shared
with another soul.

A naked heart is singing in my chest, now show me yours - j.b. 

You’re going to meet a boy who won’t even think twice about wanting to date you, he will care so much about you that he won’t have to choose who he wants to be with because he will know the only person he wants to be with is with you. He won’t hurt you, he will love you. He won’t make you cry, he will make you laugh. He will know that when you say you only want two scoops of ice cream, you really mean three. He won’t judge you, he will understand. He won’t make you feel like you are worthless, he will make you feel like a princess. He won’t break your heart, he will hold it in his hand as if he was holding the world. He won’t complain when you ask him to watch a romantic movie, he will watch it anyways because he will know how much you enjoy them. He won’t tell you you’re sexy, he will instead tell you you’re beautiful. He won’t be embarrassed when you do something silly in public, because he will be the one next to you being silly with you.
He won’t be ashamed of you when you tell him your flaws and mistakes, he will hold you and love you anyways. He won’t make you feel like an object, he will treat you with respect.
He won’t get angry when you wake him up with a text at 3am because you are on the verge of breaking down. He will feel special because you trusted him enough to let him see you in your most vulnerable state. He won’t have to ask you if you are upset, He will know instantly by the look you have on your face. He won’t let you go, he will hold you so tight and thank God every night that he put you into his life.

I promise you this, when you meet that boy, you will realize why it didn’t work out with someone else.

Things I’m trying to remember (via buhaybabae)

Tomorrow, I will be celebrating my 17th birthday. I wish things will turn out to be fine.

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